


Moving Forward

by sakurahaiku



Series: Of Direwolves and Dragons [5]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Arranged Marriage, Don't Judge, Family Relationships - Freeform, Friendship, Gen, Politics, Some Romance, don't hate on my ships, fluff?, idk - Freeform, they are perf
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-06
Updated: 2013-07-06
Packaged: 2017-12-17 20:45:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/871792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sakurahaiku/pseuds/sakurahaiku
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jojen could remember every decision he ever had to make in life. Some were easy to make, some were harder, wracking his heart down with guilt. Some he could easily push aside, some he could never lay to rest. Yet the hardest thing he ever had to do was leave her behind, and go on with life without her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Moving Forward

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be a quick Jojen-centric drabble but it turned into a 4000 word epic. NO REGRETS!!
> 
> Basically I have a huge headcanon that is really strange with really weird ships. Bear with me.
> 
> I hope you enjoy!!!

They make it back over the wall beaten and bruised and alive.

Hodor is shaking and crying, clutching onto Bran like a lifeline, clearly confused by all the commotion. Bran himself looks strong, looking every bit the prince he was, only less defeated by his broken body. Meera is grasping at her brothers arm, joyous as she has ever been. Summer runs in circles around Hodor’s feet, excited by all the people who surround him.

Jojen looks wordlessly at the new world around him. It seems to him, back on his side of the wall surrounded by the brothers in black, that it makes less sense when it was just him and his companions. He does not know these brothers as he knows Bran and Hodor, and certainly not as well as he knew his own sister. This does not stop him from smiling when Commander Snow, Bran’s baseborn brother, reaches towards the smaller boy to hold him in his arms. Hodor relinquishes his grasp on the broken boy only for this.

Jojen is happy that everyone else is happy.

* * *

 

Jon does not allow Jojen and Meera to return home, at least not right away. He gives them the king’s quarters to sleep in, as Bran is used to their constant company and would not be separated from them. Bran is greeted as royalty, not because of any lingering loyalty to his older brother, Robb, but because he is a prince.

Sansa Stark, they are told, is Queen of the North now until her death, though she is currently in King’s Landing visiting with Queen Daenerys, the Mother of Dragons.

Bran wants to go to her, to be with his true born sister. Jojen and Meera exchange glances, and agree to travel with him.

Almost everything in Jojen wants him to go home, to be with his father and mother and his people once more, but he pushes this all away. His place is by the prince’s side, now and forevermore he thinks.

So he puts thoughts of home aside and marches south alongside his sister, his friend, the wolf, the lord commander and the gentle giant.

Everyone is happy to be going, so he is happy too.

* * *

 

On their way Summer runs off into the woods and comes rushing back with a larger, wilder, black wolf. Quickly behind comes a woman and a child.

As they come closer, Jojen recognizes Osha and Rickon. They are dirty and messy but overjoyed to be reunited with those they had left behind.

They had been living on Skagos, Osha explains. One day, she tells, Rickon faced the wind and told her that winter had come, and they left the island following the scent of the seasons and the young boy’s intuition. Following the winds of winter led them back to those they had thought were lost forevermore beyond the wall.

Together they travel, and together they stay. Rickon never lets go of Osha the whole way.

Jojen realizes now, Osha is the mother the young Stark would never have again.

* * *

 

There are many tears when they finally reach King’s Landing.

Sansa and Bran cry when they reach each other, Rickon cries when Sansa tries to pull him away from Osha, Sansa cries more when she realizes Rickon no longer knows her, and Hodor cries because everyone else is crying as well. The Queen of the North soon remembers her courtesies, and introduces herself to Jojen and Meera. Meera curtsies politely and Jojen manages to kiss her hand before she hugs them tightly, whispering in their ears about how happy she is that they had helped to keep her younger brothers (only one, Jojen thinks) alive.

Queen Daenerys orders a feast for the safe arrival of the Prince of Winter, the title that has been given to Bran by his sister. Before the festivities, Sansa has lunch with her brothers and their companions. She tells her story of traveling to King’s Landing with her father and sister. She tells of her time in the Vale and her conquests of the land that she is now the queen of. She speaks carefully of Petyr Baelish and lovingly of her husband, Tyrion Lannister.

Jojen listens quietly with great intent as Bran reaches over to grasp his sister’s hand. The tears in his eyes tell Jojen that this is not the same sister who left him all those years ago. This sister does not speak softly to Bran, does not cry while she speaks of the horror she has witnessed. This sister is a conqueror; she thinks of wars and strategies not of lemon cakes and songs.

Jojen looks to Meera. He wonders if circumstances changed, would his sister also become a stranger to him?

* * *

 

Jojen sends a raven to his father as soon as they are in King’s Landing. A letter arrives back quickly instructing the boy to act as Lord Reed in place of his father, managing affairs with the southern lords and ladies, and, most especially, the two queens.

The boy has no idea what to do with these orders and he tells his father as such. The response is speedy and it tells him that he must show the the pride and honour of House Reed with his actions and make the lords of Westeros see that his family is good, and try to stop them from judging the lands of the Crannogmen. Jojen’s eyes widen when he sees that his father has written that finding Meera a good husband from a good, strong, southern house would certainly help matters.

But Jojen does not tell Meera this. He knows his sister better than anyone, and he knows she would protest against their father’s word. He wants to protest the order himself, but he knows he can not. He is their father after all, and a child does not go against the will of the father.

* * *

 

To Daenerys and the small council of the south he is Lord Reed, young yet wise. He is allowed to sit in on a few meetings to discuss affairs whenever they concern Greywater Watch and House Reed. He does not say much, opting instead for careful listening. Without questions he learns Westerosi politics, and the way other lords go about their business.

To his friends in Queen Sansa’s solar, however, he remains Jojen. Still quiet, still thoughtful, as if everything was not changing before his eyes.

He never missed any detail, not in meetings, not with his friends, and certainly not with his sister. He saw the way she blossomed at court, putting on pretty dresses and going for walks in the gardens with the other ladies at court. She blushed softly when a young lord would give her compliments, even when the compliment pertained to her ability at archery, a skill she was teaching to the mother of dragons.

Meera seems to flourish with other ladies her age, something, Jojen realizes sadly, she never had with only a brother for company. He would never have gossiped with her or talked about the latest fashions of court.

She was still his sister; she would still tell him fairytales and hit targets with perfect accuracy, but there was something wrong. She became more distant from him within weeks of their time at King’s Landing.

Jojen remembers his father’s instructions. Meera is of a marrying age, of course, and she is now beginning to act the part of a highborn lady.

In his head he keeps notes on every lord who sends longing looks at his sister. He tells himself that this is what his father would do. His sister can not marry just anyone, he thinks.

* * *

 

He asks Queen Sansa for a private audience and she happily accepts. He does not tell Bran or Meera, but he confides in Osha, positive that she will keep his intentions a secret.

Jojen dines with the Queen of the North in one of her private rooms and, over a cup of wine, tells the Queen that he wishes for Meera to marry Bran. Sansa looks at him with sad eyes and tells him that the arrangement is not possible. If she had thought that House Reed would ever betray House Stark she would have been overjoyed with the proposal. But she knows that Jojen and his sister are fiercely loyal to her brother, there is no need for them to solidify their friendship further at this point.

She smiles at the boy and explains an engagement is already being made for Bran. She has been talking to Stannis Baratheon, and she has realized that in order to steady a rocky alliance her brother must marry his daughter, Shireen. She stares into his eyes and makes him promise to not tell his friend of this. She will do that when the time comes.

After smiling at Jojen for a brief second, Sansa becomes business once more and tells the boy that if he is looking for a husband for Meera he should look to the south. She is the only true born northern girl in King’s Landing, and many families are looking to strengthen ties with the Starks, especially with a girl who is in such favour with the royal family.

The next day Queen Daenerys shows up in his private rooms, seeking to talk with the Lord of Greywater Watch.

* * *

 

Aegon Targaryen is kind, Jojen will give him that much. He kisses his sister’s hand and calls her Lady Meera and compliments her on everything, from her dresses to her skill in archery. Every time she makes a public outing he is there holding her on his arm. He takes her for private walks in the gardens, with only a few servants trailing behind them. She gushes over the Prince of Dragons, as if she was not being noticed by anyone else.

Jojen hates him. Jojen hates how his sister does not hate him. He hates how Aegon is the best possible match for his sister and everyone knows it. He hates how the prince is everything Meera ever wanted in a husband.

He feels like crying when he agrees to Daenerys’ proposal of marriage between her nephew and his sister.

But, in that moment, he is Lord Reed. A Lord of a house of Westeros, the most loyal to House Stark, does not cry when he is given an opportunity, no matter how bittersweet it is. Especially when the Queen tells him that the wedding must occur as soon as possible, to ensure that heirs to the Targaryen House are born soon.

He tells his father in a letter, and Lord Reed (the true one, Jojen thinks) says that he and his wife will arrive at once for the wedding.

Jojen tells his sister that their parents are traveling south to King’s Landing and she is a mix of bewilderment and wonder and excitement, asking questions about their visit, asking that when they come will she finally be able to go home. He starts to cry then and she looks him in the eye, for the brother she knows does not cry, he merely states his business. He looks at her and tells her that she will not be returning to Greywater Watch, that King’s Landing is her home now.

She starts stammering in her confusion and he feels like biting his tongue, feels like telling Meera that he was merely joking, that they shall return home together soon. But he can not lie to her, not now, and he tells her they are coming for her wedding. As he stands to take his leave, tears rolling down his face, he looks at his sister. Her green eyes are wide, her face asking him questions that she knows she must not ask. He looks at her and explains to her that she will be Princess of all of Westeros, that Aegon will be her lord and husband, that she will soon have the entire world at the tips of her fingers. He asks her to smile, and half-heartedly she does.

As he closes the door to her room, he can hear her sobbing.

* * *

 

He tells Bran and Rickon and Osha without his sister present. Osha already knew for Jojen made her is confidant and secret keeper, and Bran and Rickon were saddened by the news, but the older brother tells Jojen that there could not have been a better match for Meera.

Jojen tells his closest friend that there was a better match, that he had wanted his sister to marry into the north, to him.

Bran stares at him, awestruck and silent, and Jojen takes his leave from his friends as well.

* * *

 

The announcement is made and Jojen watches as his sister stands in front of court with people saying their blessings to their future queen. She is smiling and looks absolutely regal in her green gown. But Jojen knows his sister, and he can see that her eyes are bloodshot from crying and that although her smile is wide it is not deep.

It is this image he keeps in his head as he sleeps, as a reminder of the wrong he has done to his sister in the name of his father. And as he sleeps he wonders why he did not see any of this sadness coming. His eyes open with a start as he realizes he has not seen anything since coming over the wall. He had lost his ability to have green dreams. He puts his mind on this conundrum for days until he is called into a meeting with the two queens. Together they inform him that Queen Sansa has been in correspondence with his father, and together they tell him that he must take a southern bride.

He learns that no lord will marry their daughter to a Crannogman That, unlike his sister who is beautiful and desirable in court, he will not be able to find a strong and true born bride to bring back with him to Greywater Watch to be his lady.

Luckily for him, there is a girl with a good name but baseborn blood who will be a loyal and true wife to him someday.

* * *

 

Myrcella Baratheon is beautiful, Jojen decides, when he first meets her, though he finds her utterly vapid and naive. He is totally devoted to picking apart her personality that he does not even notice the long, pink scar that extends from her nose to where her right ear should be until Bran points it out to him.

Jojen dislikes the girl but he tries his best to be charming, taking her for walks in the garden, telling her of the land he was born and of his adventures beyond the wall, and asks about her life and past, all in the name of polite conversation. Myrcella, for her part, listens intently and answers truthfully, but does not ask Jojen anything beyond what is proper for her to ask. She looks at him like she has been disgraced to be betrothed to a swamp person. Jojen ignores this and continues to be polite, though his thoughts soon turn to how he is going to be able to live out his life with this girl who looks down on his people like they are not even human.

She begins to change her mind, he finds, right before the royal wedding when he gifts her with a necklace of carved crocodile bone. She stands on her toes to quickly place a kiss on his cheek and he can feel the heat going throughout his body (only his face, Jojen tries to tell himself). Myrcella, he learns, can be easily won over with pretty trinkets and prettier words.

Jojen decides to keep this in mind.

* * *

 

Meera has not talked to him in a month when their parents arrive south. She had not forgiven him for marrying her off to a person who was, more or less, a complete stranger. While she decided that Aegon was kind and good and handsome, he wanted a true and proper lady, something she had decided she was not.

But she could not ignore her brother in front of her parents, especially not her father. She knew she could not appear ungrateful for her situation; marrying a prince, after all, was a great honour, and she should be more than pleased that she was chosen over all the beautiful ladies of court.

Jojen watched as she feigned happiness to their father and mother, but even if his parents could not, he saw that she looked like she wanted to be crying in her room.

Before he retires for the night he goes to her room, hugs her as she cries and whispers soft apologies in her ear, begging for her forgiveness. He tells her this is the hardest thing in the world for him, that she was all he had had for so long that he had forgotten what it was like to be without her. He did not want to leave her, he wanted her with him forever, but he knew it was not possible. She grasps his hand and shakes her head when he asks if she hates him.

Meera looks her brother in the eye and tells him she could never hate him.

* * *

 

She wears green on her wedding day and so does Jojen. He stands next to his mother as they watch Meera walk down to the altar, grasping her father’s arm. Aegon stands regally, dressed in red and black, Daenerys standing behind him.

It seems like an eternity before they are pronounced husband and wife, prince and princess, and he diverts his eyes when Aegon bends down slightly to kiss his sister. Jojen decides that nothing hurts worse than watching your sister embark on a new journey, one that does not include him.

He sits with his parents and Myrcella during the feast, the necklace he gave her sitting proudly on his betrothed’s neck. She speaks softly, asking questions to his father about Greywater Watch, as if Jojen had not already told her all there was to know about his home.

When the night grew late and Aegon had taken Meera to bed (the boy tries not to think about it, tries not to think of his sister as a woman fully grown), Jojen asked Myrcella if she wished for him to escort her back to her chambers. She nods and gives him a silent yes and takes his arm.

They walked past the table Bran and his family were sitting back and Jojen nodded his goodbye to his friend. Bran, for his part, looks incredibly agitated to watch Jojen leave, for he had been trying all night to make conversation with his betrothed, but Shireen would not talk to him. Jojen thinks that maybe he should try to help out the young prince, but decides against it.

He has, after all, promised Myrcella that he would take her back to her room.

They walk in a comfortable silence for many minutes until they reach her room. Jojen looks her in the eye and says goodnight and she returns it. Without thinking, he leans forward and catches her lips to his. He is about to pull away when she smiles into the kiss. When they break she smiles prettily at him, a blush across her cheeks, opens her door and says goodnight once more.

As she closes it shut, Jojen thinks to himself that perhaps his marriage will not be so bad.

A few days later, when he takes her for a walk in the garden, he asks her if she ever resented their engagement. She looks at him with big eyes and answers that yes, she was revolted to find out that she was to be married to a Crannogman. But, she says with a slight laugh in her voice, as she learned how kind Jojen was, she was no longer revolted and was rather happy.

Jojen decides that swooping down and kissing her once more would not be out of place, and she happily returns the affection.

* * *

 

A few months since Jojen, his sister, and his friends arrive in King’s Landing, Queen Sansa announces that she must return home to Winterfell. Bran and Rickon are, of course, joyous to learn that they will soon be where they belong. Jojen and his parents are to go back to Greywater Watch, back to the swamps of Jojen’s childhood. When this is announced Meera looks at her brother with sad eyes. He knows that she wishes to return as well, to leave the high walls of the capital, but they both know it is not possible. King’s Landing is her home now, with her husband and the children that they soon must have.

He says his goodbyes to Myrcella in her chambers. It is not entirely appropriate for him to be there, but he does not care. He holds her hands in his and tells her that he will write her and think of her while they are apart. Myrcella has tears in her eyes but she looks at him with a will that tells him that she will not shed them. Jojen kisses her softly before he leaves, his hands never leaving hers. As they embrace for a final time he can feel the tears slowly coming out of her eyes.

Jojen can not believe that he once disliked her. Now he can not bear to leave her.

Meera stands primly next to Queen Daenerys and Prince Aegon when he goes to say farewell to her. She hugs him tightly and he does not want to let go. He shakes the hand of his good-brother and receives a quick hug from the mother of dragons, along with a quick kiss to his forehead. As he turns around he starts crying, and he can hear his sister starting to sob silently behind him. He does not turn around. It is too late for that now.

As he mounts his horse he looks to his companions around him. Sansa is riding on a horse today and will not be sitting in the wheel car. Her husband, the dwarf Tyrion Lannister, sits on his next to her. Bran too was given a horse to ride, after receiving a new saddle that would allow him to ride once more. Rickon chooses to ride on Shaggydog’s back and Osha opts to walk.

As they start to travel, Jojen lets his mind turn to thinking. He thinks of the green dreams he had not had since he came back over on this side of the wall. Would he have done anything differently in King’s Landing if he had known what was to come? Probably not, he decides.

He thinks of Myrcella, the beautiful girl who will one day be his. He had once thought her vain and vapid but no longer. He had somehow become captivated by her, and he felt warm when he thought of how they had kissed and held hands. Jojen did not know when he would see her again, but he hoped that they would not be parted for long. He wished to show her the swamps he had grown up in, the place that would one day be her home as well as him.

He looks forward at Bran, the prince he had followed to the end of the world. Jojen laughed to himself when he remembered how the boy had tried in vain to talk to Shireen, to try to at least become friends before they were married, and how he had been coldly ignored. Jojen hoped that one day Bran would be able to see eye to eye with his betrothed, and he hoped that he was happy that he was out of danger at least.

He glances up to the sky, to the gods both old and new. Whatever or whomever was up there had Jojen’s thanks. Twice now the gods had spared his life; the first in his childhood when he contracted greywater fever, again when he returned safely from beyond the wall.

Mostly he thinks about Meera, his constant companion, his dear sister. He remembers the way she would laugh when she would tell him a story, the way she could catch frogs and rabbits with such ease. He chuckled when he thought how different she was from the rest of court. She was their princess and she liked to eat frogs and shoot arrows.

He could not remember a day when he had to be without her, and now he was looking at the rest of his life. He hoped she would learn to be happy. He hoped that Aegon would be a good and kind husband, that she would learn to see King’s Landing as her home and not just a temporary stop before returning to Greywater Watch.

Jojen could remember every decision he ever had to make in life. Some were easy to make, some were harder, wracking his heart down with guilt. Some he could easily push aside, some he could never lay to rest.

Yet the hardest thing he ever had to do was leave her behind, and go on with life without her.

**Author's Note:**

> This was my first time writing for this fandom but I think it went alright. I am happy to hear any constructive criticism you may have.
> 
> This is also going to be the start of a new series, so fingers crossed that it's good.
> 
> Cheers!!


End file.
